A request for advice

[jaala]

Another pro-and-con list about Fort Henry. First, some background. My motivation and ability to cope physically and mentally (and especially my ability to get to work on time in the morning) appears to be in a steady decline. I have difficulty sleeping at night because of back pain and have screwed up my sleep schedule again. I'm usually too tired, too pained, or too busy frantically catching up with life's essential jobs (cleaning, garbage, grocery shopping, etc.) to practice flute effectively. When I do practice, the physical difficulty and lack of progress is intensely discouraging.

My parents are adamant that I cannot possibly quit. My flute professor holds exactly the opposite opinion with equal passion. I've been thinking about this for a long time and really cannot make up my mind. Any comments would be appreciated.



Option #1: Quit the job

Pros:

can devote myself exclusively to flute playing

less pain

can almost certainly be ready for jury by September 20

won't be worn down at the beginning of the school year

flute professor strongly recommends this

less stress (physical and mental)

more free time to enjoy the remainder of the summer

Cons:

poor job record

ensuers that I will never be hired by Fort Henry again

lose source of income, regular social interaction, regular physical exercise

I enjoy many aspects of the job

will disappoint my parents (who feel strongly that I should not quit)

will be letting the Drums down

I'll be disappointed in myself for failing again

will miss USMC visit

will miss visits of friends and family to Fort

the powers that be at the Fort claimed (several weeks ago) that they don't want me to quit

---

Option #2: Keep the job

Pros:

better job record than if I quit

I am good at some aspects of the job (interaction with tourists, music)

income, social interaction, exercise

enjoyment of job

won't disappoint parents, Drums

won't miss USMC, visits, etc.

will please parents

I might be able to get some accommodation for my physical difficulties

the powers that be claimed they don't want me to quit

I might be hired again in future summers (summers when I will know better how to take care of a house and when I won't be preparing for a flute jury)

the foot orthotics may turn out to be highly beneficial

Cons:

will continue to struggle with fatigue, sleep, and pain problems

unless something drastic changes, will continue to be unable to practice flute effectively

will probably be unable to play flute jury in September

will be worn down at start of school year

will disappoint flute professor (who feels strongly that my health and education are more important than a job)

if trend continues, ability to cope will likely get even worse and I will get more and more depressed

if trend continues, will be socially ostracized at work

recommendations for future jobs would probably be negative at this point

they might fire me anyhow, which looks a lot worse (and is a lot more depressing) than quitting with due notice for medical reasons

Comments

[echomyst.livejournal.com]

Your dilemma's a tough one. Must you play flute jury in September? And are you taking a music course right now, or is your flute-playing more of a self-study project?

You'll have to take into account your long-term goals. Do you plan on living in Kingston indefinitely (and hence will want to work for Fort Henry again next year)? Or do you value your education more? Your health & depression problems will be alleviated by dropping one or the other...

[jaala]

Must you play flute jury in September?

Pretty much. It might be altered as an emergency measure but that would be an absolute last resort.

And are you taking a music course right now, or is your flute-playing more of a self-study project?

This is a music course. It's not a core requirement of my degree but it is a third-year credit (which I need) and my professor is expecting me to sign up for the fourth-year equivalent this year.

Do you plan on living in Kingston indefinitely (and hence will want to work for Fort Henry again next year)?

I'll probably be here for at least some of next summer. I remain undecided as to whether I'd want to work at Fort Henry again. My situation could be considerably less stressful next year.

[rho]

My gut instinct is to say that if you think that you can get through it relatively unscathed then to keep at it, because sticking at it seems to have a lot of benefits (one you didn't mention is the general smug feeling you get when you accomplish something).

But on the other hand, if it's doing you any sort of serious damage, either physically or mentally then it just isn't worth it, and you shouldn't keep pushing yourself too hard.

Which is an entirely useless comment really, because what it comes down to is "it's up to you".