jaala

For those who haven't seen it, the homosexual agenda:

(First seen by me here. This is probably my favourite version of the various ones circulating the internet.)

Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Kennedy, and others speak of the
"Homosexual Agenda" but no one has ever seen a copy of it.  Well, someone
managed to sneak into Homosexual Headquarters and get a copy.  Here it is:

The Homosexual Agenda
06:00   Gym
08:00   Breakfast (oatmeal and eggwhites)
09:00   Hair appointment
10:00   Shopping (Macy's or Nordstrom)
12:00   Brunch
14:00   (1) Assume complete control of U.S. Federal, state, and 
        local governments, as well as all the other national
        governments.
        (2) Destroy all healthy marriages
        (3) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with
        militant homosexuals who seek to recruit children for
        the homosexual lifestyle
        (4) Bulldoze all houses of worship
        (5) Seize control of Internet and all other media
        (6) Be utterly fabulous
15:00   Beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stresses 
        of world conquest, followed by aromatherapy
16:00   Cocktails
17:00   Light dinner (soup, salad with arugula & balsamic vinegar
        dressing, Chardonnay)
20:00   Theater
22:00   Cocktails in a charming neighborhood bistro 
00:00   Bed (du jour)

[Edited: Well actually, "theater" isn't spelled quite correctly, but one must keep in the proper idiom if one is to include the bits about the U.S. government. ;-)]